Living with GGS

Yes, yes, I know.  It's been more than a week, but what a week I've had!  This may be a long post.

We've all seen the movie 'Grease' right?  It's one of those classic and timeless movies that people love!  Well, remember in the beginning of the movie when Sandy was classified as a 'good girl' because of the way she dressed, acted, etc?   

It's called GGS (Good Girl Syndrome).  Many people think that it is curable because of the TV shows which often show girls with GGS being cured with drugs, sex or drinking.  You know, 'experiencing' the world.  Sandy was one of those girls who was 'cured' at the end of her high-school year.

Me?  I have a terminal case of GGS.  I am 22 years old and I live with my parents, I'm a virgin, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't smoke and I dress modestly.  I also have a very happy personality.  I'm pretty sure when I smile, you see a glimmer and then hear a 'ding!'

Living with GGS is extremely challenging.  It takes a toll on you mentally, physically and emotionally. Not the disease itself, but the way people treat you when they know you have it.  God forbid they ever catch it.

I never knew I had it until I started working at the tender age of 17.  People would avoid me, make fun of me, talk about me, etc.  I knew something was up.  How could they know something was up and I didn't??  I headed straight to the Medicine Mom.  She asked me a few questions, like:

• Are you always nice to your co-workers?  Yes.
• Do you complain constantly about your job and explain why you hate it?  No.
• Do you find the bright side of everything?  Yes.
• Do you always find something nice to say, even when the situation is bad?  Yes.
• Are you usually in a good mood?  Double yes.

Once I was diagnosed, everything made sense.  I understood why I got the weird looks when I declined the invitation to go and 'get wasted', why they would roll their eyes when I came into work with a cute bow in my ponytail and why they kept using the term 'sheltered' all the time.  You'd think I was an orphaned puppy or something with all that 'sheltered' being thrown around!  It all made sense.

So once I finally understood, I tried to make people comfortable when they were around me.  They would apologize for saying "FFFFFFFF*************!!!!" when the printer didn't work and I was in the room.  But I would just say, 'Don't worry about it!  It is a major bummer though!'  By the end of the shift there were F bombs, S bombs and all sorts of alphabet-bombs exploding left and right and then there was me saying, "Aw! Stinkers!" or "That stupid-head machine!"

Finally, people started to just be them and just tune me and my GGS out.  But then, it started to take a turn for the worse.  People started taking advantage of me and my GGS.  They need a shift off, I come to the rescue and cover without a second thought.  But when I need a shift covered, forget it loser.  They have a bad day and need someone to listen or to talk about something else, here I am.  I have a bad day and it's, "What the h*** is wrong with you?  Suck it up!"  They make a mistake and need a bailout, I'll take the blame.  I make a mistake and it's, "SSHHHHEEE DID IT!!!  IT WAS HER!  ALL HER!"  People do their research.  They figure out that my GGS is incurable and know I can't say anything mean or call them out, so therefore, I am the doormat with a sunny smiley face on it.

But there are also people who try to cure me.  You know, that have given me 'the speech'.  The typical, "You need to get out and enjoy life.  You're too young not to experience the wonders of the world!  I think you've been sheltered all your life and now that you are old enough, you can make your own decisions!"  There's that 'sheltered' again!  And please explain to me what you mean by 'experiencing the wonders of the world' and 'enjoy life'.  Do you mean the 'wonders' of sleeping with 4 different men and then 'enjoying' all the doctor visits and meds after I get Herpes?  Or do you mean 'experiencing the wonders' of getting drunk and 'enjoying' staring at my reflection in the toilet water the rest of the night?  Do tell.  >insert crickets here<

I get so sick of people telling me that there is cure for my GGS and thinking they will be the one to discover the cure.  Or taking advantage of me and my GGS.  Most people pick and choose what they like about the GGS.  They like getting flowers from me, just because, but they get jealous that patients would rather talk to my friendly and smiling face rather than their angry one who is screaming, "The F****** S***** M*****f****** printer won't f****** work!!!!!"  

In all seriousness though, God gave me the most wonderful parents who taught me how to develop  and handle my GGS in the world.  And when I think I can't smile anymore, God always finds something to remind me that I have a lot to smile about.

Like, when people say certain phrases, I hear completely different ones.

Good Girl = A respectable woman who has standards and beliefs